Wednesday, March 23, 2011

I Should have died on Sunday

The poison wasn't strong enough
or the air was too fresh
but i should have died on sunday.

and now

i take the gossamer threads of my life
made of the laughing sea
and the reflection of scarlet lady bug wings
in the eyes of those who still believe in magic
and i wrap them
it hurts
i burn
it aches
i wrap them about me
in a cocoon
a shell
so tightly woven
that only the light can seep through.

i will wait here.
for the pain to stop throbbing
for my heart to start beating
for my soul to start breathing

you cannot catch me
in your black, tarred depression
i will merely
slip out of my ballet shoes
let you devour them
and return to my cocoon
i have returned to myself.


  1. It doesn't get much better in poetry. This should be published.

    I hope one day you can write a poem about a day when a ray of sunshine peers into your cocoon...flooding you with warmth and healing...and being slowly released onto the dance stage of life. xo

  2. Oh my god. This is incredible!!

  3. Wonderful my friend! And I am sorry for all pain this disease is causing you.

  4. I remember when you were a care free young girl off to college. I remember you and your parents in the studio and then you coming to Starlite to try to teach after your first bout with this illness. I had no idea then what you were going through. I am so truly sorry for what has happened. But I am also truly amazed at your courage and strength. I read your post on Facebook yesterday and wanted to cry for you. Amber my thoughts are with you and know that Michael's are as well. I wish we could do more than send you love.

  5. It's nice to meet you from the "Talent Show for Invisible Illness" Facebook page. I too have M.E./CFS. I was teaching preschool creative dance when I got sick. I now dance with paint and water (watercolor). I know this cocoon you refer to. I too have one. Beautiful - soul touching poem. Thank you!